Dog Show Terms Terms Explained!

Pet dogs shed ... Show dogs blow coat.
Pet dogs are in heat ... Show dogs come into season.
Pet dogs trot ... Show dogs gait or move.
Pet dogs stand ... Show dogs stack.
Pet dogs get a bath ... Show dogs are groomed.
Pet dogs beg for treats ... Show dogs express desire for bait.
Pet dogs raid the garbage ... Obedience dogs show a natural tendency for scent articles.
Pet dogs jump the fence ... Obedience dogs demonstrate natural jumping ability.
Pet dogs poop ... Obedience dogs toilet.
Pet dogs bark at other dogs ... Obedience dogs show excitement before showing.

Angulation-Degree to which dog handlers will bend over backwards to impress judges.
Balance-How to arrange the checkbook so your husband won't know how much money you spent on dog shows last month. Usually done in the bathroom with the door locked.
Bitch-
- (a) name for a lady dog;
- (b) name often heard at dog shows, not always to describe a lady dog.
Coat-The hairy covering of a dog that usually falls out about one week before the Specialty show.
Dam-
- (a) lady dog with children;
- (b) expression frequently overheard at dog shows as losers leave the ring.
Elbow-Method of getting to ringside when late.
Expression-"Sweet" look adopted by dogs while staring ravenously at chunks of liver.
Fancier-Degree to which some gentlemen handlers dress more than others.
Feathering-What winners are accused of doing to judges' nests.
Front-Part of the dog often stacked toward the outside of the ring.
Heel-
- (a) what you feel like when your dog beats the one you had just sold to an eager novice;
- (b) expression often screamed to attract the attention of deaf dogs.
Height-As in "Maximum Allowed," a measurement which all champions fall under by AT LEAST 1/8 of an inch.
Hock-A way of financing your dog shows by the use of jewelry such as wedding rings.
Kennel-Where you go when the kids fight and your husband yells at you.
Litter-Trash left all over the building and parking lot after a dog show.
Mask-What to wear when you have to show the pet you sold six months ago.
Muzzle-What to put on your kids at a dog show to prevent them from calling your competition what they overheard you call him last night.
Noseprints-Cute marks left all over your French doors.
Outcrossing-What your husband tells the minister you are doing out in the kennel with the dog and the bitch.
Points-Minute, invisible awards for winning which you cannot convince your spouse are more important than cash prizes.
Puppies-Small, doglike food-processing machines with the ability to stink up an entire house and collectively deafen a band of magpies. (These creatures have not yet been perfected, as they come with leaky systems, and can also be dangerous to weak hearts and bank accounts.)